Embrace the Camera

For years I have been secretly stalking/reading Emily at The Anderson Crew 's blog. To be a momma to 6 has to take a lot of patience and strength and wine and she does it all with grace and an absolutely beautiful smile. I mean really, I'm envious of her smile! Anyways, she encourages you to "embrace the camera"- get in the pictures, have proof that you were actually part of your kids' lives! As an avid scrapbooker I LOVE this idea. I always make sure at holidays that I ask someone to snap pictures with my camera, or at least get one family picture. But my idea of "embracing the camera" last night, wasn't exactly happy go lucky.

As mothers, especially moms to little girls, we all know that once they hit the teenage years, its going to be lots of attitude and drama and crying and screaming and drama and attitude and drama. I mean, we ALLL were dramatic and girly right? Its a girl thing. I never once expected it would start so early. It isn't supposed to start until they turn 13 and are in high school RIGHT?! Never, did I think I would hear out of the mouth of my 8, EIGHT, as in NOT EVEN a teen yet, "I hate you". <insert mom tears immediately>

Homework is something we apparently are needing some work on- Social Studies in particular. And last night she brought home study guides and her SS book and notebooks full of notes and we had to do just that, study for her test she had today. When she continued to mess around and talk and not focus on her homework, I told her to sit down, get her study guide done and we would review it. And that's when she said the 3 words no mother ever wants to hear. The heartbreaking, what am I doing wrong as a parent sentence. "I hate you" as she stomped back to the table and started pouting. The whiney "but its sooooo hard" and "I don'ttt get itttt." I really don't even know how I comprehended what she was saying as tears filled my eyes. All I could say was "you just told me you hated me." It then became I'm the meanest mom in the world and life isn't fair and I just don't understand. Lots of tears between us both and I walked away and called my mom. Apologizing over and over for being so mean in high school. For saying those words out of anger when I never really meant them and how I now know how hurtful and painful it is to hear your daughter say that to you. She just laughed and told me how it was ok and how I have lots of years left of hearing it, but that means I'm doing a good job of being a mom and eventually Lexus will realize that too. I dont know how my mom knew what to say to make me feel better but as soon as we hung up I felt better. I went back to Lexus and we sat down and started working together on her homework and it clicked. She was understanding it and all of a sudden life was good again. I was the "cool smart" mom who knew what I was talking about and she was going to ace this history test.

Apparently not only did I get my emotional bipolarness from my mom, so did Lexus. Because in 10 minutes she went from screaming at me that she hated me and I'm the worst mom ever, to "thanks mom, you're the best." And at that moment, I snapped a picture because who knows what tomorrow will bring, and if I'm going to be the worst mom ever, I want to have this reminder that soon enough, I'll be the coolest, best mom again.

As moms we are all doing our best. There's no manual or handbook on how to raise your kids and how to get thru each and every situation you are put in. Hell, some situations I feel like I barely make it thru. I'd rather whine and throw a fit and scream like Lexus did. Keep smiling moms. And don't be too hard on yourselves. We are all doing the best we can. (and that's when I ended the night with a glass of wine and prayed I could make it another day in this crazy parenting world.)